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September 11th, 2008

(no subject)

I've not written in here in quite some time, it seems. I meant to write more earlier.

I don't know what to write, though. I want to put it all in words, the things I've been feeling the last week or so, but it's hard.

The man I love so much is afraid that I'm fading away, and there's evidence that I was. I really don't know how to explain it. The best way to describe it in a public place like this is that I was literally existing for his needs. If he didn't need me, I stopped existing all together. I don't know what happened, how I could possibly disappear for real, but I did.

I wanted to deny it, and tried... But after thinking about it, I can't remember anything from what happened during the times when I disappeared. I can't tell you that I was reading a book or washing dishes or eating a peach or even napping. I don't know what I was doing, at ALL.

So I've started trying to do things for myself again. Living for myself and the like. While he's in Fisher, I'm visiting my family, something I haven't done in way too long of time, and working on my restaurant. I'm catching up with friends I haven't had lunch with in forever. I'm doing all the things that I used to do

The only thing is, of course, I've ended up with Aroshi cut out of my life from Tuesday to Friday.... So I'm thinking about him constantly. Aroshi, dammit, I miss you. A lot. I have some secrets for you when you get back, and I'm dragging you to girl-lunch next week sometime if you're up to it.

I'm so lonely. Raven was a lot of help the other night, though. A LOT of help. I can't thank her enough. She calmed me down a lot... Thanks, Raven.

I'm still lonely, though. I want Aroshi back home now, so I can least see him...

January 10th, 2008

(no subject)

Heaven, oh heaven
If I had a wish
I'd spend it on you
If I had another,
I'd give it to you
Heaven, oh heaven
Heaven is you

October 24th, 2007

(no subject)

Today was mostly a disaster. It wasn't a bad day, it just didn't go right. At all. I woke up late due to being up late... thinking... about Aroshi... And Noct didn't wake me up! I overslept! FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS IN SCHOOL. And then I had no water, and then... We get to work and Fluke hadn't shown up.

I'm pretty sure the Princess thinks we're all mad. BUT SHE FIRED BOB. Oh, I love her.

We found out, through the wonderful Noct, that Fluke wasn't there because he was there but not there-there. He was in the castle, but in the infirmary, along with his guard Hodge. His carriage flipped on the way there, and Fluke ended up with a broken leg. So he's waiting for Amart to come back in the morning to set it.

That means that Amart will be drained tomorrow. He can set and heal bones, but it takes a lot out of him. So, I guess I need to revise his schedule. He won't be able to do nearly as much as is on there.

I miiiiiiiiiss Aroshi. 

October 23rd, 2007

(no subject)

I keep forgetting to make an icon! I know what I want, but I keep forgetting to do it.

Today was better than yesterday. I still miss Aroshi, but I'm not crying every time I go somewhere he isn't and he's supposed to be..

Noct and I had a sleepover at Aroshi's and did serious AND dumb things and had a good time doing it. Aroshi's going to love us.. Or possibly kill us.

Sierra looked a lot more confident today- Fluke trailed her all day.He's got the funniest little boy crush on her. It makes me giggle. A lot.

I spent the day after work with Mary. When she's not being self righteous, she's a good kid. She and I went shopping for birthday gifts for our dad (and I got something for Arioshi! Ha! Take that! I got you a gift! I care about you! I love you!). After that, we had dinner at the neato vegetarian place. That's not it's name. It's name is Alaba's. It's yum. 

Aaaahahahaha, the sweater I got Dad is hideous. I keep staring at it. He'll love it... The way to shop for my father- Find a sweater shop. Find the sale section. Find the UGLIEST, CHEAPEST sweater. Find a medium. Bam, gift for Dad! Keep the tag on it, too, so that he can praise you for being thrifty. Mary found him an old fashioned pen set.

To end this entry, I will let you all know, gentle readers, that I'm horny. I'm going to go alleviate this. Heh heh heh.

October 22nd, 2007

(no subject)

I'm pretty sure I cried half of the day today. Cried as Aroshi's ship left, cried when I walked to the castle, cried when i sat at the desk and realized he wasn't in the office behind me... Thank goodness for Noct distracting me.

I miss Aroshi.

Other than that, things are good. Sierra seems to be doing well. Fluke and I are in charge of helping her when she gets stuck.

Time to make pot pies! I'll write later.

October 17th, 2007

(no subject)

Goodness me! I appear to have a journal now! Oh my, oh my, whatever shall I do?!

The world may never know.
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